Monday, September 28, 2015

Difficult Choices... Real Life Rambling

I think a day is going to come soon when I have to chose between working and homeschooling my daughter.  I don't like to think about it.  I hope it doesn't happen but if something happens and their dad isn't able to work then I will need to provide income.  Unfortunately with homeschooling my son then when he went back to school I started with my daughter, I haven't been to an outside the home job in years.  In this economy with lack of jobs, low pays, and unfriendly family work hours, I'm scared.  Yes, you read that.  Scared.
Its one of those conversations we avoid.  I don't want to discuss it.  Fear that I would not make what he makes and be able to pay all of the bills (credit cards and household).  Everyone says pay down your credit card payments.  He is.  He handles the money.  I don't.  That's the way he has always wanted it.  I know what the bills are but he knows when he pays them and what he spends.
Wow, this turned into a really private kinda post quickly.

I hope that the choice doesn't come down to work or homeschool.  My daughter has intended to go back to school in middle school (two years from now).  I hoped we would manage that long then when she does I can go back to school and finish my degree or find a job with daytime hours while they are all at school.  I watch my friends schedule their days.  This person picks their kids up and that person keeps them until they get off.  Or they pay for them to go to afterschool programs until they get out of school.  I have nothing against that.  Nothing at all.  Paying for an afterschool program would defeat the purpose of me working unless their dad is out of work then he can pick them up.  Its very overwhelming to think about.

My oldest transitioned back into public school in 6th grade which is middle school here.  That was what he wanted.  Its been a struggle but he has stuck it out.  We've dealt with difficulties along the way.  We still do.  My daughter wants to do the same.  I'm okay with it.  I don't know how well she will transition but we will try as long as that is what she wants.  She has an audio-visual sensory issue.  She doesn't like noise, crowds or moving things.  At home she has to have quiet to work or have her head phones on to block the noise.

Am I rambling?  Maybe I bit.  Might even be repeating myself.  So sorry.
I'll quit now.  Just a rambling real life moment there.  

Is this a common fear amongst homeschool moms?
Anyone else going through similar?
How do you manage?

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Teenagers?

Real confession time..

Sometimes I look on facebook and see all these posts with parents and happy teens taking selfies or doing cool stuff... and frankly I feel like a failure.  My mood swing happy teenager doesn't like to do these things.  He hates going out and doing things.  Shopping?  OH heck no.  Skating? Are you trying to kill me MOM?   Walking at a local beautiful park?  Uhm not a chance.  Swimming?  HAHAHAHA.  Sit at home and play Call of Duty or Assassin's Creed?  Okay see ya later mom, have fun.  Sometimes I am even brave and drag him out of the house.

Today I took (cough cough.. DRUG) him and his sisters to a local beautiful walking park nature preserve.  I mean it's shaded, has water access, lots of bridges, and its great.  Who could ask for more?!


See, isn't it gorgeous.


Nope, he wouldn't even walk with us.  Parked his self on a picnic table and read for the whole hour.  But at least when we left, he was in a better mood.  Even joked.  Some days I wonder...

Then I remember I can't compare my life to the pictures people post on facebook.  They are moments in time.  We all have happy moments in time.  I will just keep trying.  Maybe next time.

How do you get your teen out of the house?